Have you ever wondered if God is real? I certainly have, and as such, I searched in my own way to find Him. This is that story; my testimony as to how I know that God is indeed, real.
Testimony Background
Let’s begin with a little backstory, shall we? You see, growing up, I wasn’t one of those kids who attended church every weekend, nor did I have parents who were Christians. My mother was very much a woman who wanted her children to go into the world and search out religion for themselves.
My grandmother took me to a small Christian gathering for a year or two when I was very young (maybe 8 years old at the oldest), and it was the only understanding of Christianity that I had had at the time. I enjoyed this little gathering of Christians. Being that I was practically the only child who attended, I was pretty much left to my own devices while the sermon was going on downstairs.
They left me things to color and to paint, such as Christian coloring books and blank sheets of watercolor paper with watercolor paints. They also left those awesome scented markers, which I used all the time on the coloring books themselves. I was a good kid (amazingly, I know lol), and actually entertained myself for an hour or so before heading downstairs for the final moments of the groups’ sermon.
At the end of the service, we would all join hands in a big circle, and sing.
“Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me. Let there be peace on earth, a peace that was meant to be. With God as our Father; Family all are we. Let us walk with each other, in perfect harmony. Let peace begin with me, let this be my moment now. With ev’ry step I take, let this be my sacred vow! To take each moment, and live each moment, in peace eternally! Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me!”
God is Real: My Testimony
So, now that you have a little bit of backstory on my history with the Christian faith up to that point, we will travel ahead in time to when I’m a teenager, attending community college. At this point, I’ve gone to a few different churches of friends, and found them all to be lacking. They didn’t have the peace and love that I remembered from my childhood, and so I wrote off that singular, enjoyable experience as a fluke.
As such, being that I was a teenager, I was filled with angst and sorrow for myself and the world around me. I couldn’t understand much of anything, let alone how a Loving God could allow so much suffering to exist. Having experienced more than my own fair share of abuse of all sorts, and being beyond frustrated with life, it all came to a head within me.
I was furious about something, while in the parking lot of the community college; I don’t remember what any longer, that had infuriated me so badly, but I do remember that I was beyond recourse. It was there that I literally raised my arms, and made fists of my hands, shouting up at the sky and the Lord, “If you’re really there God, then strike me down!” After a few moments of nothing happening, I snorted to myself and mumbled under my breath, “I thought so.” I felt dejected and beyond cynical, heading back to my car to finish doing whatever it was that I needed to do after my moment of fury.
God is Listening
That night however, I would learn just how close I came to being struck down for my own insolence. Now, I must note that most people would assume that the following portion of my story is that of a “night terror”. However, night terrors are typically something that happens often, especially at a young age, and up until this moment in my story, I had never experienced one. I also, have never had an experience like this since then.
So, that night, I had what I call, a vision. I was walking down a street near my house, it was dark and rainy, but I remained dry. Not a soul was around, but I knew exactly where I was. I stopped walking, and stood next to a street sign, and looked down. Everything slowed down in this moment, as I could see the individual rain drops almost at a stand still. (Think of the bullets in the Matrix films.)
Suddenly, without warning, and without lifting my head, in the right top hand corner of my vision, I could see a bright white streak coming down, ever so slowly, before it reached the ground. Once it reached the ground, it exploded, still slower than a snail at first, before speeding up. Once the white light of this strike filled my entire view, I woke up.
When I Awoke
You would think that my story ends there, but it does not. You see, when I woke up, my heart was racing. The right side of my body burned like it was on fire. It was hottest the closest where my body was in the vision to the lightning strike, and waned from there. And, I couldn’t move. I could only blink in the darkness of my room, as I tried to gather my wits and determine what the heck had even happened.
As I lay there, my side burning, I went over the vision I had just experienced. The words I had shouted earlier in the day came to mind, almost like a whisper, to remind me of what I had said. Then it all clicked. God, in His Mercy and His Grace, had done as I had asked of Him. However, He had done so while I was in traveling in the Spirit, instead of while I was still within my mortal body.
He knew that I needed this confirmation of His presence and His being. He had heard my cry from the depths of my heart, and had answered my plea. And, instead of striking me down in a way that would actually harm me, He struck the ground next to me, and allowed me to heal from this wound while in the comfort of my own bed. It was in this moment that I knew that God is real, and that He is listening.
Final Thoughts
It would be years later (about 15 years later), I started to understand this experience even more. I came across one particular Bible verse, and it clicked instantly as to why the above had happened.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:13 NIV
I didn’t realize it at the time, but when I shouted at the Lord to strike me down, it was because in my heart, I was seeking Him with all my being. I needed to know He was there, just as I needed to know that I wasn’t alone and that all this suffering was for some greater purpose. And I felt that if there was no God, then it was all pointless. Thankfully, I was wrong.
Anyhow, that is my testimony as to how and why I know within my own soul and heart, that God is real. I hope that if you don’t know this in your own soul, that you seek Him with all your heart, and that He answers your prayers as prominently as He did my own. Later on, I’ll do my own testimonies as to my faith in Jesus and in Christianity. But, I had to start here.
God Bless you and keep you!
♥ Jess ♥
